I won't lie to you. The training here has pushed me in so many different and difficult directions as an actor and as a person. The day in and day out physical and emotional strain of the program here has begun to take its toll. Walking the 2 miles home everyday has started to become amazingly difficult after busting my ass in Ballet, Russian Movement, Stage Combat and Acting. I thank God that my body has been able to last these five weeks. However, with seven more to go, I am hopeful that my body will be up to the task of carrying me on through those weeks to come.
I've been struggling a lot in acting class lately, Charlotte. Since the acting training is so hard here it's easy to lose sight of what acting is actually about rather than creating work that satisfies the need of an assignment. I had started creating work that wasn't satisfying to me and was not receiving positive feedback. I had hit a wall, a plateau of sorts, in my work and was struggling to find what works for me as an actor. This was very off-putting. I'm here in Moscow for 3 months and right now is the time for growth as an artist. So after 5 weeks of plateauing, the time had come for a change of place.
It was Halloween and on a whim I signed up to see a production of Richard III. Thankfully Marcin and Hannah, two of my favorite artistic strugglers at the time, had signed up before me and were excited to see something invigorating and inspiring as much as I was. The show was playing at Satiricon, a theatre managed by the most famous actor currently performing in Moscow, Konstantin Raikin. Satiricon is also infamously far away from the center of Moscow. So in order to get to there we had to take two different subways, followed by a shuttle bus, then accompanied by a 10 to 15 minute walk to the theatre itself. Being so far removed from MXT and then American Studio was a godsend, I felt so removed from my recent shortcomings as an artist. I felt so free from the walls of the artistic box I had put myself in, almost as if I had walked into some serene solitude within the confines of my so called artistic box.
The show itself was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, as well as one of the most powerful. The set was made up of oversized furniture and little animals that looked liked poorly drawn sketches done by a child. Throughout the entire show Richard, played by Raikin, paraded around the stage hopping from oversized door to oversized table, sharing conversations with poorly drawn crows and even uglier penguins. Every time a character was killed it was done in an unconventional way. Clarence for example, was stabbed to death by two henchmen throwing glasses of wine on him, soaking his white shirt until it was a deep red. They then proceeded to clean the stage as if wiping up Clarence's blood. BRILLIANT.
The show climaxed at the part where the ghosts of those killed by Richard returned to visit him in his sleep. The entire scene was done with no dialogue. As every character came onstage, a heavy snowfall began. Richard rises from his bed and in terror and takes his place on an oversized chair, standing. As all the ghosts arrive, they all sit facing Richard, waving to him. It is at this moment that Richard speaks the infamous first monologue, "Now is the winter of our discontent, Made glorious summer by this sun of York..." I wish I could say I wasn't crying. I wish.
After the show I felt so inspired to go work and to be creative. I was inspired to create, to perform, to train, to stretch myself and to love the art in myself. It was such a needed experience, and I will be forever in debt to that show for re-inspiring me in a time of self doubt and exhaustion as an artist. Much like Marcin wrote about in is last post, I feel like a phoenix rising from the ashes, reborn. I passed my plateau and have reached a new level of artistry and I am excited to continue to explore that new level with passion, focus, energy and love.
Forever Yours,
Justin
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